Let me start off by saying that I am not a fan of pr0n. Hey, I love a good roll in the hay at least as much or probably more than the average farm girl, but I don't like watching other people do it. But, as befits my libertarian politics: Pr0n is fine for some, it is not for me, but do want you want.

However, I do love a good pun. And a lot of pr0n titles are hilarious puns.

In fact, there's a popular parlor game where you take the titles of famous movies and make them into pr0n titles. For example: Driving Miss Daisy becomes Doing Miss Daisy. You get the idea. Here are a few of my favorites:

On Golden Blonde
Good Will Humping
Apollo 69
Terms of Enrearment
Little Orphan Anal
When Harry Did Sally
James Blonde: The Man With the Golden Rod
The Slutty Professor
Harry Poontang and the Sorcerer's Bone
I Know Who You Did Last Summer
Forrest Hump
Jurassic Pork
Romancing the Bone
Sex Toy Story
Rambone
The Bare Wench Project
Snatch Adams
The XXX Files

These are real titles. So, here's my question: How come there aren't any musical take-offs in the pr0n world? Has musical theater become such a backwater niche that not even the PORNOGRAPHERS are interested in it? Wow, talk about falling out of the mainstream of popular culture...this is ridiculous!

So, in the interests of bringing musical theater back into the imagination of popular culture, here are some humble suggestions for pr0n musical theater adaptations:

Beauty and the Bestiality
There's No Business Like 'Ho Business
Annie Get Your Come
Eat-her Parade
The Seducers
Wicked [sic]
Little Shop of Whores
Les Jiz
Twice Upon A Mattress
Good Vibrators
My Special Pal Joey

...and my personal favorite:

An American in Paris Hilton

Any additions?