I've been following Suzanne Somers' show over a couple of posts but it looks like I won't get to see it after all!

According to this article in Playbill:

"It will have been a quick ride in the Thunderbird for actress Suzanne Somers, whose Broadway debut in her one-woman show will end on Sunday, July 24.

The New York Post reports that Somers' The Blonde in the Thunderbird will close after receiving mostly negative reviews."

"About the reviews her show received, Somers told the Post, "I put my show out there with the cleanest of hearts and the best of intentions and getting reviews like that hurt...Barry Manilow said Broadway would break my heart, and it has."

Somers, however, added, "The fighter in me is back today. Even though I only have [seven] performances left, they're going to be great performances."

Well, Charles Isherwood of The New York Times certainly didn't pull any punches in this review:

Ms. Somers is, in short, probably not short on cash, which is why it seems forgivable to offer her this stern piece of advice: Should you brave Broadway again, dear, bring a sequin or two. Invest in some bugle beads. Hire a chorus boy or girl. Better yet, hire a half-dozen of each, in assorted sizes. (Perhaps they, too, can be acquired on the Home Shopping Network these days.)

You might even consider a reunion with Tanya the elephant, with whom you shared a friendly professional rapport in Las Vegas some years back, according to "After the Fall" (Crown, 1998), the second of two volumes of autobiography from which this show is adapted. (The first was "Keeping Secrets," Warner Books, 1988.) Perhaps Tanya can be coaxed into co-starring, if she hasn't moved on to that great Vegas showroom in the sky, or signed with Endeavor.

Something is desperately needed, in any case, to dress up "The Blonde in the Thunderbird," a drab and embarrassing display of emotional exhibitionism masquerading as entertainment. Attired in a cruelly clingy black tights-and-tunic ensemble, Ms. Somers re-enacts or describes triumphs and traumas from her personal and professional life for a grinding 95 minutes, on a stage adorned only by a pair of video screens, an armchair, a prop phone and a coat rack. (It is curious, and telling, that Ms. Somers's magnified, two-dimensional presence on the video screens continually draws the focus away from the woman herself.)

Devoted fans may savor this no-frills, quasi-intimate audience with a favorite celebrity and professional dispenser of uplifting advice, but others may find their attention wandering to the coat rack. And resting there.

Some of Ms. Somers's recollections are, regrettably, set to music. A performance of Frank Loesser's "Take Back Your Mink" is spliced into a recitation of a particularly violent encounter with her father. I'm not sure why. The show's writer-directors, Mitzie and Ken Welch, have also provided dreadful new lyrics for some old standards. Dorothy Fields and Jerome Kern's "Pick Yourself Up" is now a song about bouncing checks and seeking solace in shopping. Unfortunately, Ms. Somers's singing voice is thin and often toneless, and the clanging piano chords underscoring the more anguished moments in her history, usually accented by a dramatic clutch at expensively highlighted hair, are giggle-inducing.

Ouch! Generally, whenever you see the words "giggle-inducing" in a review, it's not a good sign. Oddly enough, I still want to see this show...maybe I'll go closing night...

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